Phoenix on a mission

Middle 2014 we had to move to Cape Town for 5 months. I was so alone, depressed and super restless. (mixed state, looking back) I had wandered off, far away from God. I was on venlafaxine at the time and when I got suicidal I went to a local psychiatrist who told me to start tapering down the venlafaxine and that the next Monday he will admit me to hospital and start me on new meds. 8 Hours after stopping my venlafaxine, I tried to commit suicide. My husband found me passed out with pills all around me.

My parents flew to Cape Town and we all had a serious talk. The thing that got to me the most was when my mom said that if I should end my life, I would also end theirs. Later that day I wrote “Fighting the good fight”. When I was on the beach again on a rainy day I told God, listen I don’t want to live, but I can’t really die after that speech so tell me why I must live. That was the day my boat turned. God spoke to me through different things, sermons, booklets and people and one night in church we sang a song by Tree63 – Treasure. “MY HEART IS WHERE MY TREASURE LIES, MY GREAT REWARD IS IN YOUR EYES, MY EVERY BREATH BELONGS TO YOU”. That night it all clicked I was living for Him for His plan with my life and that I live so that one day when I do die and meet Him, He will look into my eyes and say “well done my good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21).

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Phoenix on a mission

  1. Helene-Marie says:

    MAAR “That was the day my boat turned.” Ek is en bly verstom oor die diepte en volwassenheid en geloof wat hierdie in jou werk. Mag jy baie harte daarmee raak.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s