This is an old blog post that I wrote a day after my suicide attempt. It remains relevant, so much so, I read it every time I feel like giving up. I hope it inspires you too.
When I feel down and I cannot keep it together I just call on Jesus, He will rescue me and He will hold me in His hand and I won’t fall apart. This too shall pass and over time things will get better, it is now the worst it will ever be and I cannot give up. I have to just cry out to Jesus and He will run to me and He will keep me. I Think of how much I am loved and how everyone is on my side and believes that I will make it through this trial. Think of all the people out there that will cling to this story of hope when they go through it themselves. I need to win this for more than just myself. More than just my family, I need to win it for them, those who will suffer the same fight. The good news is that through Christ and His work on the cross the battle is over and I can claim victory as God’s child and co-heir with Christ of the Glory and the Power and the Freedom that has been released and is available to me. It is my holy calling and destiny to plant the flag of life wherever I go and depression and mental illness is no exception. Shine the light! Fight the Good fight! Do not let them win, because they have no right. Death has been conquered and I have risen from the ashes of my humanity and I am now superhuman! I do not live by the laws of this world I live by the creed of the holy heavens fighting in the army of God against a ruthless cunning evil enemy but a slaughtered enemy nonetheless. He can threaten, scream and scowl but he cannot claim me for the darkness. I can stand up and say; I may not be in control of my emotions and I might feel like giving up and that the pain is too much but I will bear it and it will not consume me! Salvation will come and one day, maybe only when I get to heaven. This thorn will be removed from my side but till then I will bathe and soak in the grace blood that was spilled for me on the cross and I will be brave and I will survive and I will be a beacon of victory and light and an everlasting hope. I will not be killed, I will bring life!